I have been a rather timid boy with respect to girls. I'm a mad flirt when it comes to simply talking to them, but in my history of 'taking it to the next level'... I was not so talented. Until a certain girl came around in my life. One named Katie Ronan. Last semester I felt so strongly about this girl, I even wrote a paper about how we became 'official'. I got 97% on the paper, but I'll let you be the judge.
Affinity: Genesis
Heart racing, legs quivering, facing one of the most daunting tasks I had ever come across. Anxiety and apprehension had never been felt with this magnitude before. Trying to remember any tips my sister of all people gave me, I was about to that which I had no skill in whatsoever. The worst part was, that if I missed, unbearable embarrassment would ensue.
For the first half of my Junior year in high school, nothing was going as I thought it would. I was a new student, and if I had learned anything from movies, it was that my peers would be engrossed with tantalizing stories of my home town and girls would be fawning over my enigmatic history. Sadly, my life was rather mundane and this Hollywood-borne mentality quickly vanished.
Friends were hard to come by, but by the time swim season rolled around in the Spring, I was able to more fully integrate myself into the social scene. There was one girl in particular, Katie, I started showing an interest in. She had eyes like sapphires and hair like mahogany. Yet the most astonishing thing of all was miraculously enough, the feeling seemed to be mutual. Conversations were frequent whether in the pool or via the wonders of Facebook chat. Flirtatious tendencies were all too common, and I was reveling in it.
Junior Prom was just weeks away. I had never been to a high school dance before because provocative dancing was more present than stink on a pig. However, I thought I’d gutsy up and ask this modest young woman to Prom. Amazingly enough, she obliged.
The weeks came and went. Prom came, and that too disappointingly went. The week following Prom I had the courage to ask the same girl on a formal date. Again, to my surprise, she agreed to go with me. Could it have been this girl actually liked me back?
Two dates later I was sure there was mutual attraction. I was ready to make final, only to realize that I was a coward and had no experience with girls beyond flirting. Reluctantly, I turned to my sister who was home at the time. She had had a few boyfriends in her past, and surely she would know how I should go about this. We talked for a while, and every time I thought of something that could go wrong, I’d sprint down the hall, bust open the door and ask, “But what if this happens?!” She’d assure me I was crazy and that it wouldn’t happen. I still had my underlying doubts.
Later that day I made plans to accompany this fine young woman for an evening of perusing the town. Unfortunately, the best laid plans of adolescent men are often ruined by unforeseen dinner plans. It was Saturday evening and this girl was going with her family to eat dinner with their neighbors! Being unable to see her on Sunday and conflicting schedules during the week, this would mean another week of anxiety and coming up with a whole new agenda of things that could go wrong. Surely this could not be. Surely I had stumbled into a bad dream. Alas, this was reality.
Being the staunch young boy in love that I was, I managed to get invited to dessert with the families. Awkwardness ensued as I was introduced by her mom as ‘Katie’s little friend’. Being belittled in such a manner only made me more determined to make this final in hopes that one day, I could be introduced as something more. Hours passed as we all socialized about whatever civilized adults talk about. I was becoming uneasy as curfew drew closer and I had yet to have a moment alone with Katie. Just 10 minutes before I was supposed to be home, the very same woman who disparaged me before had announced that they must be getting home as it was in fact getting late. This meant that I too must be going home. Few times had my morale been so low.
But then, as if she could sense my despair and knew, and approved of my plans, Katie’s mother invited me to stop by for a little while longer. I could have sworn I heard trumpeters sounding off this glorious moment. However, joy quickly dissolved into tribulation once more as it was made known unto me that curfew was now only minutes away. I called home in great hopes my own mother would be so kind as to let me stay out just a tad longer. My teeth clenched and my muscles locked up as she contemplated my request. She granted me another 30 minutes to my curfew. It seemed the heavens were smiling down upon my quest for a kiss.
We arrived back at Katie’s humble abode and we sat down and began to watch TV while her parents were cleaning up the kitchen. Few programs appealed to us, so we settled with the U.S. Olympic swimming time trials. A few more minutes passed, and I realized what I was about to do. My heart began racing as I frantically scoured my brain on how I was supposed to go about this. Since I had my arm around her, she could feel my heart beating much quicker. To my great dismay, she inquired as to why my heart was in this increased state of activity. I calmly pawned it off as my great fervor for swimming.
My 30 minutes were nearly up. I told her that I must be getting home and she in turn offered to walk me to my car. We walked outside, every second seeming like an eternity. The 20 yards to my car felt like a mile with all the thoughts going through my head. We arrived at the driver’s side of my car and faced each other. I took her hand and expressed how great the previous few weeks had been and she concurred. After laughing about a certain incident in the past, the dreaded awkward silence hit me like a semi. Again, time slowed to a standstill. I thought to myself the clichéd phrase: Now or never. I closed my eyes and leaned in as awkwardly as one could and finally, after 16 years of waiting, I was kissing a girl.
I pulled back, eyes now wide as could be, smiling my little boy grin, astonished she was smiling too. We bid our fond farewells, I got into my car and closed the door and started to pull away. Emotion took hold of me as I shouted ‘Woohoo!’ (I later found out she had heard that). I put on the happiest song I had on my iPod, drove home shouting the lyrics, and safely arrived home. I walked up the stairs in my quiet house, wondering how my family could be sleeping on such a joyous night as tonight. After an hour of laying on my bed with the smile the size of Rhode Island, I managed to fall asleep. Surely, this was the start of something great.
And sure enough, it was. We've been dating now for over a year and a half, and there's no one I'd of rather spent that time with. I often ask her why she loves me as my sisters will attest to the fact that I'm a huge dork, a goofball. She says she loves me in part for that exact reason... I'm still have my underlying doubts.
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| Alpaca Convention! |
I think the biggest reason Katie is my best friend, is she's the biggest part of me getting out of my minor depression stage. When I first moved to Pleasanton, (like I noted in my essay) I thought friends were going to flock to me. When that didn't happen, I got pretty bummed out. But after meeting her, having her to talk to pretty much whenever I want, my spirits were lifted. She's like my psychiatrist. I can talk to her about anything, and I like to think I serve a similar role in her life. I hate to sound so cliche, but I don't know what I'd do without my best friend. She's really great and I hope you've had the chance to meet her. If not, we'll have to make arrangements.
I wish you all a very happy Valentine's day, even if you don't have someone yourself to share it with. Even if it is just a stupid Hallmark Holiday, it's another reminder to tell those you care about... how much you care about them.
I love you Katie!
